• z00s@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    Whelp, I’ve got cancer. It’s the second time I’ve had it. About 9 months ago I was told the docs would treat me but I probably wouldn’t make it.

    Its been a hell of a time.

    It’s a blood cancer so at the moment I look normal from the outside. I’ve changed a lot though, in the sense that I’ve become more me.

    I don’t give a shit about anything except for spending time with people I like. I especially don’t care about money or work.

    It (death) is taking a lot longer to happen than I thought it would.

    The real trip has been seeing other people’s reactions; I accepted it early on but other people have had very different reactions. Mostly I think they just don’t know how to react, or they don’t think it will actually happen, or both.

    I don’t think the human mind is capable of understanding the concepts of “eternity” or “oblivion” very well.

    I do believe in God but it’s still scary.

    Its the everyday things that catch you off guard; the other day I was wondering when the next soccer world cup would be, then I realised I probably wouldn’t be around for it.

    I think when I finally die it will be a relief from all the physical pain.