I think the tons of hook ups in the twenties thing is because most people don’t really know what they want and if someone will lead to a toxic relationship. They have to figure that out by trying out a bunch of things that end up being totally wrong for them. You sound like you have a really solid idea of who would make a good partner for you. It takes most people much longer than their early-mid twenties to find that relationship.

If it’s really bothering you, maybe try out the relationships you think won’t work, just to confirm that you’re right about what you want.