I used to drive an older Pontiac. It wasn’t the fanciest car, so it wasn’t the most performant.
One day, I was leaving a restaurant with a girl I was dating, and had to merge into traffic up a hill. I knew the car would need all the power it could get to do the merge safely, so I turned off the air-conditioning. Confused, the girl asked why I did that. I explained that air conditioning affects the performance of the car. She disagreed. She was raised a bit privileged and had only ever driven nice cars, so never noticed the performance hit of having the A/C on.
We bickered back and forth for a minute or two before I said “okay look I’ll show you” and reached to turn off the A/C. Before I could, however, she hit me with “you know, you don’t always have to be right”. I didn’t end up getting to prove it to her.
In her defense, I can be very stubborn when its something I am confident I’m correct in, and we actually argued a lot about stuff. Another example of an argument we had was over the fact that prairie dogs can carry the plague. She didn’t believe me and I remember we had to look up the answer. And that was on our second date.
I think about that line she hit me with a lot. But I also realize that in a lot of our “arguments” I was still having fun. To me, there’s a playful aspect to a good argument. As long as nobody is yelling or getting feelings hurt, it’s a fun way to pass the time. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize she wasn’t having fun like I was.
I feel this. Some people, like us, enjoy discussing and analyzing things. We can separate who we are as people from the things we think. If someone shows us something we hadn’t considered, our response is “Awesome, I just learned something new!”
Not everyone is like that. For some people, their self worth is tied to knowing things and being right. We need to be aware of the differences.
One example comes to mind where I almost did.
I used to drive an older Pontiac. It wasn’t the fanciest car, so it wasn’t the most performant.
One day, I was leaving a restaurant with a girl I was dating, and had to merge into traffic up a hill. I knew the car would need all the power it could get to do the merge safely, so I turned off the air-conditioning. Confused, the girl asked why I did that. I explained that air conditioning affects the performance of the car. She disagreed. She was raised a bit privileged and had only ever driven nice cars, so never noticed the performance hit of having the A/C on.
We bickered back and forth for a minute or two before I said “okay look I’ll show you” and reached to turn off the A/C. Before I could, however, she hit me with “you know, you don’t always have to be right”. I didn’t end up getting to prove it to her.
In her defense, I can be very stubborn when its something I am confident I’m correct in, and we actually argued a lot about stuff. Another example of an argument we had was over the fact that prairie dogs can carry the plague. She didn’t believe me and I remember we had to look up the answer. And that was on our second date.
I think about that line she hit me with a lot. But I also realize that in a lot of our “arguments” I was still having fun. To me, there’s a playful aspect to a good argument. As long as nobody is yelling or getting feelings hurt, it’s a fun way to pass the time. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize she wasn’t having fun like I was.
I feel this. Some people, like us, enjoy discussing and analyzing things. We can separate who we are as people from the things we think. If someone shows us something we hadn’t considered, our response is “Awesome, I just learned something new!”
Not everyone is like that. For some people, their self worth is tied to knowing things and being right. We need to be aware of the differences.
In my experience people who say that are invariably wrong and not capable of admitting it so they shift the blame onto your need to be right