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This is actually such a cute little troll post. Cool that it made it into a newspaper.
Clearly an unrepentant recidivist. Life in prison for him!
Keanu’s source!
Keanu isn’t immortal, he’s a time traveler. George Carlin gave him a time machine.
Open your eyes, the world isn’t even real. Once you realize that you can take whatever form you want.
Finally !
It’s been a long time coming!
The man never learnt
Seems that immortality thing is working though. At least since the first time he was caught un 1866.
