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The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago

Boeing Promotes Mysterious Employee Known Only As ‘The Panther’

www.theonion.com

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Boeing Promotes Mysterious Employee Known Only As ‘The Panther’

www.theonion.com

The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago
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ARLINGTON, VA—Lauding the grizzled figure who has a large scar running down his left cheek, Boeing has promoted a mysterious employee known only as “The Panther,” sources confirmed Thursday. “The entire Boeing family would like to extend a big congratulations to The Panther, who has recently proven that his loyalty to…
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  • Orvorn@slrpnk.net
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    1 year ago

    Agent 747

    • The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      Bravo

    • WarmSoda@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      You’re hired. Report to Chicago on Monday.

  • DigitalTraveler42@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Only the Onion would write an article about the promotion of a corporate hitman/fixer after a Boeing whistleblower was just “suicided” IRL, and make it hilarious.

  • WarmSoda@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    I freaking thought " of course". Reality has gotten so stupid I didn’t even think for a second this was fake.

    • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Soon enough, Onion stories will start predicting the future

      • WarmSoda@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        I think they actually did a few years ago. I don’t remember the article, but it might have been one about Bush Jr

      • Retreaux@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I read the article they wrote like 15 years (or more) ago about the US sneaking out of Afghanistan in the middle of the night like a one-night stand. And then I read an article describing the actual occurrence when it happened and so many details were spot-on it was scary.

  • Coasting0942@reddthat.com
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    1 year ago

    So dumb. The shareholders end up paying the costs for this.

    • tsonfeir@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      The shareholders helped fund the murder of John Barnett.

  • tsonfeir@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Is he the one who killed John Barnett?

    • Optional@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Well, he could tell you . . . but then

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